Will I have a joyous festive season?

I really don’t know what has gotten into me this year, am not feeling this festive season. Everyone around me is so excited to go for their holidays, my family in South Africa is calling everyday asking when I will be getting there. My obvious response is always, “am going take the next bus out of here as soon as I close for the holiday.”
But deep down inside I don’t feel that at all. What could be the reason? One reason could be that when I get to S.A my uncles, aunts and cousins will be comparing who’s got the biggest, fastest or most expensive car. Who’s child did what? Who’s got the most money. Get my point? Competition is healthy because it pushes you to do more and be more ambitious, but not too much of it. But that’s how this world is. “Materialistic”. I can’t even walk out of the gate without someone looking at what labels my clothes and shoes are. Why should I be in a competition with my family members while I’m already doing that with the whole world? I just don’t have the energy. I actually feel very, very proud seeing my family doing well. What’s the fuss about?
I’m not saying I don’t want to see my family, I miss them like crazy. I would catch a grenade for each and everyone of them, OK maybe not for some, but for most of them. It’s good to see them after such long time, but after you have spend a couple of days together the novelty runs out. Then the drama begins. People start arguing about things that happened almost a decade ago (especially when alcohol is involved), and this will trickle down to the next generation and the next. Total chaos I tell you.
So I was thinking I should just stay here and look after the house and the dogs. I do enjoy my own company after all. But I would bore myself to death eventually. So what should I do with myself this festive season? Am trying to get in the mood but it’s just not happening, can I not just sleep and wake up in 2014. That will suit me just fine. One thing that also peeves me off, is the travelling, spending 24 hours on the road, imagine that. A whole day, in this Namibian summer, not a pleasant experience. Trust me, I’ve done it over 50 times in my life time. Yes over 50 times. I can’t even keep myself busy with a book, because I get nauseous (car sick) if I read in a moving vehicle. Don’t even ask why I don’t fly, it’s obvious. But I just have to grin and bare it, and fake and smile my way past this festive season. I probably sound like the Grinch who wants to steal Christmas. And frankly I don’t care if I do. So, I haven’t decided yet what I will be doing this festive season, but one thing I must make sure of is not to use up all my money. I must at least have a few cents left for January. As if, that will ever happen. People don’t mind me, go out there and enjoy yourself this festive season while I decide what to do. Drive safely and I hope to see you next year, bright and bushy tailed. I leave you with this famous saying of Namibians “Don’t over do it”.