Rikus Grobler | Oct 18, 2017 | 0
The bells are distant, not rusty
Everybody reaches that stage in their life where they have to talk themselves into growing up. While some reach it sooner than others, at some point, everybody must recognise it and find a way to deal with the imminent external factors that form a part of growing up.
Although these things can produce some frustration, it is something we all see coming, whether it includes finding a job after school or still finding out what the right career path for you really is. It may include taking on more responsibilities in order to prepare you for your next step, or becoming more involved in family issues. Since these things are to be expected, you begin to embrace the reality of getting older the more you get a handle on these things.
However, and I think I speak for both men and women here when I say that one thing we did not anticipate was the pressure to find a partner and get married. How could we when – as a friend of mine so famously put it: in primary school, all we heard was “No dating!”, in high school, “No dating!”, in university, “You must study. No dating!” Now, all of a sudden, it is, “When are you getting married?” It’s crazy.
Gone are the days where we could watch shows such as ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ while adults were around. Gone are the days where a baby could be announced at church without being eyed eagerly by an aunt wanting to know who is next to be wed. The time has come, apparently, to bid farewell to when a guy and a girl could chat innocently at the table without the elders scooting away to give them “privacy”.
The funny thing is that there is no exemption for those who are not in any kind of relationship. Those of us who are single cannot even try and be smart by saying, “But I don’t even have a boyfriend where will I find one?” because I can bet they already have a number of a son or nephew that you can call.
I really wonder what the big idea is, as if getting married and having kids is somehow more important than finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with. Being the age that most of these adults are, you would think that patience is a virtue that they would value a little more.
But I do get it; the struggle is real, especially for women, when they are generally preferred by men the younger they are. And as you age and more people around you get married, the dating pool becomes smaller and smaller. I understand that when you are young, you are supposedly in your prime, your twenties are, “the years you will never get back.” But I think it is way more important to have your standards laid down and to stick to them, as long as they are realistic. Too many marriages fail because people did not prepare themselves for the weight of marriage and what it entails.
Do not get me wrong, the idea of marriage sincerely excites me, all I am saying is God forbid that I commit the rest of my life to someone because society thinks it is a good time for me. Rather, when God speaks, then I will follow.