Identity, a very important aspect to have
The moment that you are born, it is critical to be identified as an individual. That is why your parents give you a name, this name is what will carry you through out your entire life which then becomes your identity because your identity will help you identify your own sense of self.
With an estimate of 7.2 billion people on the planet, the stakes are high when it comes to having an identity, being unique and standing out, as everyone wants to have an extraordinary factor about them, especially when it comes to befriending people and becoming part of a group of friends while still maintaining your identity in the midst of other identities.
Thus in my own findings individuals can become engrossed with other peoples identity and in the process belittle their own.
There is a saying that goes as, ‘when you grow older you will lose a lot of friends’ which you might have considered to be your ‘bosom buddie/s’ but that is all part of the process of becoming a ‘grown up’. I soon came to the point were I thought to myself that it is alright to go through this particular stage in your life without having to walk around with that heavy guilt on your shoulders.
Growing up for me, especially during my high school years, I remember there being nothing better than having the sense of belonging to a great group of friends and nothing worse than feeling like an outcast.
I soon came to learn that friends are important but they should never become your centre. Why you ask? Well occasionally they are fickle and now and then they tend to be fake, sometimes they talk behind your back or develop new friendships and forget yours, in addition if you base your identity on having friends, being accepted and popular you will find yourself comprising your standards and or changing them every other weekend to accommodate your friends.
Do not get me wrong, it is great to make as many friends as you can but do not build your entire life on them ( I know a few people who are still “friend obsessed” – in my opinion this shows that you are still stuck in the primary/high school phase, one of those critical phases in your life that could either make or break your confidence and effect how you will be socialising with other people in the nearby future).
All that I am saying is that be your own person (whether you are in a tight knit clique or not) as it is great to have your own identity, whether it makes you stand out from the rest be it in a peculiar manner, at the end it dies not really matter because you are your own person.
But friends are not the only thing I have come across that can make you lose your identity, we live in a material world that teaches us ‘he who dies with the most toys wins’, people have sort of established a platform that creates the whole idea that ‘if you want to fit in’, one has to have to have the fastest car,the nicest clothes and the latest phone and many other possessions that people believe are suppose to bring them happiness.
There is nothing wrong with owning and enjoying our material things, but one should never centre ones life on “things” which in the end have no lasting value. I have realised that one can also become school-centred, parent-centred and boyfriend/girlfriend-centred just to mention a few.
The point I am conveying is that in life one will come across many things that will centre you, one should be able to recognise which centres are positive and will help you rise above any trails that all people face. Just thought I might share.