Helmke Sartorius von Bach | Jul 1, 2020 | 0
Letter by a hopeless romantic
I have often been a hopeless romantic but it seems love does not always favour me. I have been left to pick up the pieces once again. My shatter proof glass proved to be of no use. At this moment it might be appropriate to call me ‘Mrs Glass’, because that is how fragile and broken I have become, despite being a ‘black diamond’.
I did not think I would be be shattered again, I would have made sure I took safety precautions or at least that’s what I fooled myself to believe.
However, I found myself yet again on the floor, balled up, like a junkie in desperate need of a fix.
I had seen the red flags, but I choose to turn a blind eye and thought to myself, “Not him, he has proven to be different”, but alas I was just another sucker for love, blinded so much by love I was like a horse with blinders.
Indeed he was so unique I thought he was unreal, I was mesmerized and totally smitten. He said he would move mountains for me. He was like a mystical enchanted being I had never met. Where had he been all my life? I could not stop smiling and thanking the Lord, that he had finally answered my prayers.
One day, it all changed, I always knew that the dark days existed in every “love story,” so I was not surprised when I saw a storm brewing on the horizon. I was so confident we would survive its catastrophic effects. Sadly I was wrong!
So here I am, once again in disbelief. I was in love with him…he was infatuated with me. The words that came out of his mouth were so silky and smooth I fed on them like the love starved person I was.
Whether he really knew how he felt about me or eluded himself into believing he really did love me; only God knows.
I suddenly stopped being his muse, the sparkle in his eyes was gone and it was replaced by a look I could not define. He no longer had that smile that reached his eyes when he saw me. The glow I always used to see shining from him disappeared.
Our conversations became robotic and empty. I saw the signs and attempted to prevent the creeping disease from taking over the good thing I thought we had. Sadly some diseases are cancerous you can only do so much. You always find yourself on the losing end no matter how much and how hard you try.
I tried, I went all out. Yet he still walked away from it all. He looked me straight in the eye and promised me the world. I should have known right there and then that it was all lies. He practically sold salt to a slug, but like I said, like a horse with blinders, I did not see it coming.
Something possessed me to believe his every sweet word. I understood there and then that we were together, but we were both in entirely different relationships.
What I thought was a soul mate was a lesson…and what he thought was a lesson was a soul mate. Now I just have to wait for that knight in shining amour to whisk me away and hopeful my heart will not be shattered yet again.
So for now I say aluta continua, hope one day he realises what he lost, hence I write this hopeless romantic letter to another hopeless romantic who is out there.