Community Contributor | Jul 3, 2018 | 0
To hook up or to date?
‘Traditional’ dating, as we know it, is dead and has been replaced by the ‘hooking up’ culture. Let me break it down for the old folks that do not know what hooking up means.
In layman terms, hooking up means having a one-night stand with a total stranger or a certain somebody that you might have known for days, weeks, months or even years. Basically anybody that is willing to warm your bed, if you catch my drift.
Where as on a traditional date, the guy pays for everything and takes all the risk of rejection.
So, if you’re planning on sleeping with him anyway, wouldn’t it be nice if he magically intiated that and takes you out for dinner first?
Many young people have created this silly perception that there is really not a whole lot of good to above-average options when it comes to dating. So as a young lady I was wondering what has happened to dating?
Well, in all honesty hooking up just happens and is going to be an occurrence for decades to come because women allow it.
I mean if you want to go on a real date, do not go out with the guy unless he steps up to the plate and by this I mean he should actually pick up the phone and make a reservation, or google something that is interesting to do on a first date – come on, it is not rocket science!
The question comes to mind, which gender benefits from all this ‘misfortune’? Men of course in my opinion are having the upper hand in relationships nowadays because women practically hand over the keys to the kingdom on a silver platter and women are fine with everything their sexual partner or boyfriend does, things that disturb them and that should not be the matter, if you are not okay with whatever situation you should let your boyfriend know.
I have realised that women gain status by attracting male attention through acceptable channels of dating and risk losing status if they are perceived as promiscuous.
While on the other hand no strings attached sexual conquests are generally status-enhancing for guys, while having a girlfriend can be seen as an emasculating constraint.
I still fail to understand that double standard!(Laughs).
On the other hand television culture might be a contributing factor to the hook up culture thus creating unrealistic expectations of men, resulting in men becoming commitment phoebes and in the end, leading back to that vicious cycle of hooking up because they get their needs satisfied without the ‘drama’ from the lady or mistress that does not want to tame him but deep down also wants to be in a committed relationship.
I am not saying that there is not a percentage of men out there that want to be in a committed relationship, but men, that is not an excuse not to be spontaneous and romantic with that special girl, not some random.
At the end of the day, knowingly or unknowingly, everybody wants to be in a stable relationship or whatever you choose to call ‘relationships’ to make yourself feel good.
As years go by we conclude that it is difficult to find a partner that is not creepy, perverted or having serial killer tendencies and move back into the comfort zone of just hooking up because you do not have much to lose as you did not invest much.
I am throwing out this challenge to you, the next time you want to hook up, why don’t you consider taking that leap of faith and actually get to know that warm body; you might just end with a pleasant surprise!