I want more than 15 minutes of fame
It is at times difficult to find a voice amongst so many. The world has now become a place where everyone wants to be heard, whether their input is relevant or not. So many more platforms are created daily to enable this and make it accessible to a wider audience than before. Knowledge is most definitely a tool of power, and while dedication and influence drive ambition, not all ambitions are of good intentions.
Sometimes I find it so difficult to add to a conversation in certain crowds. I feel small, uneducated and honestly inexperienced. I would rather sit and watch my same-age peers who read too much and watch news 24/7, do the talking and engage in conversations that involve great ambitions, politics, economy, conflicts and the rest. It’s not because I don’t know anything about these topics, OK yes, maybe not so much but at the same time, I just want all this senseless pratter to end.
I don’t particularly enjoy the idea that the world is full of evil, that the world is not all that meets the eye and that there is so much more going on underneath the covers. I so desperately want to hold on to the ignorance of a child that was within me, once upon a time. Unfortunately for me, I can not ignore what is going on and the most frustrating thing about it for me is that I can’t really do anything about it. Perhaps I give myself too many excuses to not fight the just cause or I simply want to believe that someone wiser and more knowledgeable than me will get up one day and rid the world of all its perversion.
Whilst I sit and listen to these conversations and I hear valid points made, I wonder why this person standing in front of a group of people sharing such an idea, is not somewhere where they could make themselves more useful, a position where they can impact positively. But again we come to “it’s not that easy.” There is more to it than meets the eye because to get anywhere you have to know certain people, have a certain influence and meet some standard required by the job and its environment. Ambition could be like a good idea that stays in ones head, without the tools to bring it to life it remains nothing but an idea. Even a reasonable idea offered as a solution to whatever problem remains pure ambition until someone, somewhere actively make it work.
I have, however, been comforted with the idea that change is constant and just as we think we are now, tomorrow could be completely different. I will sit and watch more conversations go on, I might even smile at a good idea and share the little I know, but should an opportunity come my way to make my difference in the world no matter how small, I shall grab it and I will not hesitate to use it to its fullest. I do hope that when that time comes, I will be more experienced and educated to handle what pressures may follow. Just because I sit and watch the world goes by doesn’t mean I have no ambition at all. ‘My ambitions are clean’ is a line I often hear from many different individuals but in due time all will be revealed. Perhaps I might never get such an opportunity or my ambition fades away. I can only hope that it does not fade and that the day may come where my voice is required.
Will I speak and be heard or will I sit and watch others as usual?