Three shades of truth
Honesty is by far the most necessary factor needed to build successful and long-lasting relationships. However the question to how honest one should actually be, often comes to mind when faced with the tough decision of letting someone in on privileged information.
Growing up I always made it a point to tell the truth no matter what. Yes, I know it is hard to believe but yes I do tell the truth, well most of the time that is. I would say something and if asked whether there is any truth to my statements I would respond with a smile and say “Yes I am speaking the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth”. Every one will admit that they have told lies, some small and effectless, others big and earth shattering and heart breaking. It’s inevitable but sometimes the truth is just not good enough.
A friend of mine this week confided in me on how he had not been totally honest with his girlfriend about his relationships with his female relatives. She had gotten upset after finding a trail of conversations that he had with one of his female relatives. These conversations seemed all too conspicuous and caused his girlfriend to worry. There are certain things that you should obviously tell your partner without them asking. Important things like if you’ve been married before, have very very close relations with your female relatives, gone to jail, have children with someone else. Basically anything that is necessary for them to know now or anything that is very likely to come out. I asked him why he had not mentioned the closeness between him and the relative to his girlfriend and he said it was not important and that sometimes trust is mistaken for jealousy.
It is no secret that lying is sweet. It can save one from a very tricky situation, but I think there is a level to which one should tell a lie or tell the truth. Most people will agree with me when I say that the truth is an easier pill to swallow if their partner tells them the not-so-good news about their past as opposed to hearing it from someone else. It does not only apply in relationships but in the workplace too. However we always have to tread with caution and only be honest to a certain extent, remembering that as much as anyone demands the truth, not everyone can handle it. I say: Tell the truth, but don’t volunteer information if you don’t have to.
There is always that urge that we feel that says it is better to paint a more dire picture than is the reality of what is going on around us. Tell the truth but at least know what you are getting yourself into. You may be digging your self into a pit deeper than the one you are in already.
I am not promoting excessive lying or saying that telling the truth is a terrible thing. I will let you in on a secret. The truth has different shades, well three to be exact. There is the white truth, whose name speaks for itself, the grey truth which is a mixture of the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and the awful truth, then there is the black truth which is also known as lies. It is up to you to chose one and cover yourself with it. You will either be saving yourself and others when in a tricky situation or dragging yourself further down below to a place of no return.
Sometimes there is such a thing as ‘too much information’. As the saying goes, too much of everything is bad for you. Some people will judge you and even throw it in your face but such is LIFE. I honestly do not see the reason that causes people to withhold the truth from a potential future long-term partner. Humans are dynamic, we have our good, our bad and our ugly, that what makes us unique and imperfect. Telling the truth whether asked or not, is essential. So go on, tell the truth even if you have to sugar coat it a little bit. Be as honest, transparent and as genuine as you can be.