Guest Contributor | Nov 5, 2019 | 0
This Week In The Khuta – From her breast grew life
Other than the penguin species, I do not know of any other mammal in which the father takes care of the young when they are still young. According to documentary shows, (which have narrators with British accents thus making them legitimate) the penguin males after taking a quick course in parenting 101, take on the responsibility which is traditionally mum’s job in the animal kingdom. Reverting our eyes back to the human race unfortunately societal changes have meant that we too are a single parent society. Single mums are the new order of the day.
TV shows and films have turned the notion into a form of novelty. How often do we see an interview of a prolific member of society who states that they were raised by a single parent, the mother? Its almost a new fashion statement. Whatever the reasons, (some of which I shall mention) the growing phenomena is rapidly growing across the globe almost making it the new norm.
Before I delve into the subject is important to note my bias. There are those who come from households with either only a mother or a father, others have no parents, others have both and as is popular in Africa one father and several lawful mothers. I come from a family of one father and one mother and hence being purely objective on the matter will be limited to that of a simple observer. So I sit on the fringes of society to air my views.
Praise to the mothers that be that raise a whole family by their own. No one denies their resilience, their undying spirit and their courage. Having to be a father, mother and friend to one’s children is more than just admirable. The question arises whether this form of family life is a quick resort or last resort?
Before single mothers were a result of the harsh conditions of their livelihood. Traditionally, the father would leave. Generally on his own accord or due to strenuous circumstances like infidelity or abuse. Unfortunately now it appears that several women are viewing this life as the best option. Statements such as “I don’t need a man” or “I can do it on my own” may ring well amongst feminist rallies or campaigns for women empowerment but no one asks what bearing it may have on the children.
Several notable psychologists and psychiatrist attribute the actions of a man and a woman in his early life as a precursor of the type of person they would be. A man’s relationship to a woman is often shaped by the way he saw his mother treated by his father. Granted this is not a pure science but sample results are thus indicative that a man’s behaviour is directly proportional to the relationship he has with his male mentors. What this gives us is that amongst the several single parent family there must be a gap. A gap which may lead to certain character underdevelopments which may not be blatant in nature but exist none the less.
Society is a grim and dark place for a child to build certain convictions concerning his or her gender role. It is high time that we speak about this trend as a last resort but not as a free option. Wives should cling to their husbands and husbands to their wives not simply for their own sake but for the sake of the young lives that they bring to society. The central question before religion, societal values and other standard ethics take root is whether it is fair for the mother to remain alone and whether it is fair for the children to grow without their father. We should advocate for whole families. Every child needs a father and a mother at least a figure for such a role. Every woman may not necessarily need a man to live and breathe and performs her responsibility to society but a man’s presence can help alleviate the pressure.
This Sunday we celebrate mothers day. We remember the tireless effort of women in society who have to raise families, the fact that many have had to do it on their own is simply not fair. We should all make the effort of restoring the balance in society by willingly giving ourselves to the women who have had no choice in the matter. We should also speak with those who are fooled by the new age doctrines that raising a family can simply be done by one woman. Every child deserves a father and a mother figure for a holistic growth that will help him define his/her role in society.