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Offbeat – 11 January 2013

 

http://pierremare.blogspot.com

Imagine a very important business decision taken when the entire company, from the cleaner to the CEO, is totally twatted, completely confident that it can all be done, and the boardroom curtains are on fire. That could shape the future of the company, but probably not in the way that the Board of Directors expects.

Picture this: an average guy in blue jeans and a white shirt, head thrown back, howling at the sky. The smell of alcohol wafts around him. There is some kind of demented euphoria in his eyes as he leaps forward to hug you. It’s obvious his joy has overcome him, and all you can do is hope he doesn’t have a contagious disease. Happy New Year!
He’s a fairly average reveler, inoculated against reality with brandy and sparkling wine. Judging by his reaction to the passing of the year and the arrival of the new one, the last one must have been hell.
The spirit of the thing does not move me, except to sidestep and get out of the way of the happy guy, like yesterday. I’m not really keen on his take on things, but I’ll forgive him. The hangover will dampen his ardour and act as karma.
I’d prefer 2012 to carry on for another few months, maybe even 12 of them. There were very tough bits in it. I learned yet again, several times, what it feels like when people who are important to you are unhappy. That put me on edge. There was also slightly less than a handful of scuzzbuckets and myopic  idiots, who industriously managed to sour things, either for their own gratification or due to their inability to comprehend much more than the end of their noses.
However there were parts of it which made it one of the best years of my life: a couple of people who really lit up my existence, and there was the discovery of writing stories, and that people enjoy them.
I woke up on New Year’s Day, and nothing changed. I expect there will be a couple of billion people who woke up the same way, some with greater disappointment than others. Sometimes optimism is not the greatest frame of reference.
Here’s a bit of a thumb suck. I imagine that kids see Christmas and New Year in close proximity. If they equate them with one another, the spirit of Christmas transfers to New Year, and people expect New Year to deliver happiness and gifts as well. Add to that the programming of parties and resolutions, and you have a heady mix of expectation.
The resolutions are a particularly interesting thing. Resolutions express our desire for a better new year, driven by dint of our own efforts. They are often made under the influence of alcohol, among a crowd of people who range from rambunctious to completely-and-utterly-legless, with fireworks going off in the background.
Imagine a very important business decision taken when the entire company, from the cleaner to the CEO, is totally twatted, completely confident that it can all be done, and the boardroom curtains are on fire. That could shape the future of the company, but probably not in the way that the Board of Directors expects.
I prefer my New Year resolutions to be slightly reasonable and attainable. They should also be able to survive hangovers, not that I have had one of those for a while now. So, for my own amusement, I resolve to catch the dogs unaware and spray them with the hosepipe, at least once this year, for my amusement. If that sounds a bit cruel, I will make amends by trying not to bath them.
I am not going to give up smoking, lose weight, try to find ways to bring peace to the Middle East or try to find ways to make gun control and those lovely chocolate eggs acceptable to the US.
Everything else will be evaluated as opportunities arrive, in the absence of crowds, alcohol, fireworks and boxes of matches. Good things and bad things happen throughout the year, so the sensible approach is to watch for them and grab them as quickly as you grab kids about to do the sort of terrifying things that kids do.
In other words, my New Year will be a steadfast continuation of the rather nice Old Year, just with a different number. I will treat its advent and course with the same amount of gravitas that I give to Chinese New Year, Jewish New Year, the Islamic New Year, Diwali and Kwanzaa.
As for you, I hope that the year treats you kindly, and gives you enough reason to smile, even if there are moments that try you.

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