I am running out of time
Tick, tock, tick, tock that is the only sound that has been echoing in my head these past few weeks and I am trying to figure out if it is because of all the babies I have been seeing lately, I feel like I am running out of time and my biological ticker is upon me.
My family of late has been asking me when I am going to start my own family and have been hinting on the ideas that I should start thinking and planning about it. Besides my family breathing down my neck and me seeing babies everywhere and oh did I mention that I also have been dreaming about them, so cute and adorable, it makes me want one of my one.
But the question will I be able to handle my own bundle of joy. That what mothers call their children, but I have seen and heard horrible things children get up to and give their parents grey hair or even make them go crazy. That is when I think to myself, no thank you, maybe in some other life time because if that is what they call joys of motherhood I can wait.
But again I still would like to know what it feels like to have my own child, that feeling that mothers have when they describe the love for their children, that unconditional love. But first I need to look for my ‘Baby Daddy’, eish and there is not much to pick from, because I defiantly do not want or need ‘baby daddy’ drama, since I myself am dramatic already.
Lets start calculating, it is probably going to take my about three years before I find the right guy that I think will be worthy to be a daddy to my bundle of joy. By then I will be in my mid-thirties. And it will probably take us one to two years to conceive, then I will be in my late thirties. Which gets me to the conclusion that I should have had a baby like yesterday. I do not want to take my child to her/his first day of school and hear other little children asking, is that your grandmother? No way I do not want that to be me, not at all. But I guess that is inevitable at the moment.
I can not handle this pressure any more, what am I to do?, I haven’t got a clue. Somebody help me. No wait I just had one of those light bulb moments, when a bright idea pops in to your head. Why don’t I adopt? Good idea right? No wait hold up, I know of a couple who have been through hell and back trying to adopt a child. Do I really want to go through all that trauma? I think not. I have had the experience of looking after my friends children, and it has always been a joy for me. I enjoyed it to much that I have called my friends back and asked them when I may baby sit again, plus the child always want to come back. So that does give me hope that if or when I have my bundle of joy, I will be a great or try to be the best mother to him or her. It’s just that the fear of starting your own family always has me thinking if I am really ready, but like I said the clock is ticking and time will tell.