SADC Correspondent | Oct 30, 2018 | 0
Emotional abuse: the silent killer
The term feminist would be too harsh a word to describe me, but I am passionate about women’s issues. I believe no woman must ever live in fear or in an endless cycle of pain. If playing God was permissible, I would advocate the death penalty for all sexual predators and at least ten years in prison for physical abusers.
There is a form of abuse that goes without punishment but often opens doors for all other forms of abuse and that specific form is emotional abuse, which is my biggest concern.
Emotional abuse has to be the most condoned form of abuse in the world because the effects are not visible – well not immediately and the perpetrators are socio-paths which means they are manipulative and bi-polar. It is common in many forms of relationships but most common among people who are romantically involved. Most often the victims have no evidence and are unaware that it is a form of abuse, thus it becomes more common.
This form of abuse can be likened to a silent killer as it is somewhat like a condition that may progress to very advanced stages before manifesting itself clinically.
I found two inter linked trends on Twitter, #WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft which showed that the leading cause of people staying in abusive situations is thinking he will change. In most cases they never do. The next stage is, thinking you deserve to be abused and the last and worst, thinking no one will ever love you and he is all you have.
First and foremost, people do not change unless they want to and even then it is a long and painful process. Take a minute and think of all the times you promised yourself you would change, how long did that take you? Listen, we do not have the power to change anyone and staying in an abusive situation will only change us and break our self esteem to the point of feeling like we are worthless.
If you are in a relationship which constantly makes you feel like you are not good enough and which is changing you into something you are not, you really need to think about it. Because, the minute you feel worthless, you open yourself up to any other form of abuse and a cage is created, which is difficult to break out of. Friends around you can try to help, but the signs are always there, it is just that one tends or chooses to turn a blind eye on them as the choice to ignore is always easier.
A lot of times we are the first to call out abuse in others yet we are in worse situations, victims will always think it is normal or will concede abuse because they think everyone else is in the same situation.
Make a choice to be happy, regardless of what the rest of the world is going through, guard your heart and put yourself first- believe it or not, you are worth it!