Guest Contributor | Jul 29, 2020 | 0
Is love enough? The short answer: No. Love is conditional. In the strictest sense of agape, love is merely that, amateurish.
Love, like the meaning of amateur, it is a pure pursuit of doing something. The one condition for love, that you just do it because, is becomingly false.
Truth is some of us are selfish in our choices of what to love and who to love. At least that’s my truth.
The idea of coupling myself to someone else is endearing and annoying at the same time.
Some people will go through life being schizophrenic on whether to build a whole life with someone or just spending it by oneself. Some prefer a life filled with rom-com moments and houses filled with things that tie them down like families, making lifelong memories of meaningful things that they look back unto in old age. Some are career-driven and delay child rearing for the things they really want in this lifetime, including unadulterated love.
Some seek love just for the security of having someone or something to fall back on. Ever had that feeling of re-assurance when you fall, trusting that person will catch you? Such a mighty addictive feeling, when you are caught. Its comforting, knowing you will be safe. The certainty of love I like to think is trust, knowing that the other person will be there for you through thick and thin. Then, when people don’t get caught, trust, the pillar of all varied human relationships is strained.
By falling in love, you will be taking on someone else’s world, compromises will have to be made. Differences will have to be reconciled. You know, the Sigmund Freudian stuff that relationship consultants make money off. Wouldn’t it be just great if everyone is acquainted with the mechanics of love in the agape and not eros sense. Wouldn’t it be easier to understand the reality of personal and relational love in all that we do in life.
It really is a wonderful thing when you are in a relationship with someone who understands that highs and lows will hit and that the general sameness of a relationship wears like good leather. You just click. Hands naturally clasp, opinions are expressed that remind you that you won’t agree on all things and that is ok.
Continuously falling out of love, as if love is a moving vehicle that you decided to make an emergency exit is a folly idea. What you might be falling out of is creativity, zest for life, or just plain old boredom. It is likely, and reasonable that relationships will have sameness, routine, if you are bored with each other, get your own separate lives. It is ok to be selfish, do your own thing.
To be so dependent on all emotional need that you cannot exist beyond your own relationship is not a way to love.
What is the purpose of life after all, but to love without fear or favour continuously. Somewhere I read about a couple in the late stages of their life, deeply in love. Certainly not married, but carrying ghosts of relationships gone past. After he passed on,she neatly left his things outside her house. For his kids to pick up. That I find very endearing.